Tags
anorexia, binge, Body Image, diet, eating disorder, EDNOS, exercise, orthorexia, recovery, weight gain
Lovely Readers,
First, I would like to apologize for my absence from the blogosphere lately but, you see, it is finals week and I have about a million things on my mind right now. I don’t do very well in times of stress (last quarter finals week caused me to undereat and overexercise) but it seems this time around is entirely different.
Rather than devoting all my time to avoiding food and furiously working away, this time I have been avoiding work and furiously cramming as much food into my small frame as possible. After a particularly bad session of high-sugar cereal I noticed that my entire body decided to puff up to Michelin Man proportions. Worse than that, however, was the fact that my entire body has become tender. Like the sort of tenderness you feel after an intense training session but this time it is my entire body.
I think I have finally deduced that the reaction was only partly due to the enormous quantity of food I ate. The main part, at least from my perspective, was about what I ate not how much. I have eaten more than this quite a few times during recovery but it was usually on healthier substances. So for now, I have gotten rid of the sugary cereals and decided to focus instead on my healthier indulgences (peanut butter and banana toast anyone?) I never want to feel like I do now ever again.
On a more hopeful note, I now weigh 100 pounds and look and (prior to the cereal binge) feel better than I have in ages.
Sincerely,
Your Lovely Blogger
A Natural Sort of Lovely 
Stick with it. We are here reading, supporting, here for you! If you read back in past posts, it is amazing how much more intelligent, logical, and shall I say – recovering – you sound in your words. Keep it up!
Thanks Holly that means a lot to me. I know I’m getting a bit nervous about seeing my family for the first time in three months. This time, however, I’m proud to show them I’ve made progress not just empty promises. Although, if my mom makes any more comments about my pregnant-looking tummy I think I may explode.